Peoples Need for Control

Peoples Need for Control

Posted 2015-07-07 by Justine lovittfollow

One of life’s challenges that is thrown our way from time to time is the difficult emotions associated with dealing with uncertainty. It can feel uncomfortable at best to highly stressful when the event we are unsure regarding negative or positive eventuation in our eyes to not know, one way or the other, what the outcome will be.

However, one thing that is almost always just as common, and this varies with respect to degree, is how much control we have over the outcome we are uncertain of.

In cases of some degree of control, we need to do what we can, and then just wait. In the circumstances where you don’t have hardly any say in the result of the outcome, well – it’s much the same.

It’s strange isn’t it? We know from common-sense that wondering and wishing, even if it were with all our fervour and heart that we knew, even if the outcome was negative (for at least, we could then proceed to deal with that), that it doesn’t speed up the process of our knowing.

Yet, there are some ideas of what we may do – when I say ‘wait’ – just waiting, and doing absolutely nothing else, thinking and wondering, and thinking and wondering – not a good idea.

I do believe, and this is just personal opinion based on experience, that we need to do something during the time of uncertainty.

Of course, time does not go faster during this period of self-occupancy other than an unrelated task to what we are concerned about. However, many of us from experience have found the illusion that time seems to go faster is true.

Sometimes, we feel the more we want something to go our way, or the more fair it is that it does go our way, then the chances it will shall increase. Perhaps this may be true if you have some sort of documentation or it is some sort of application – in my case it is a deferred exam which I was late applying for because of acute unwellness. I submitted documentation about why I was late in applying – however told this is no guarantee.

It was similar when I was waiting, I don’t know –but perhaps more anxiously than my mother for the results of her breast cancer re-check. She had it before, with a mastectomy and chemotherapy and it means the world to me that she stays around longer…She is in her early 70s, and beg God to let me have her at least another ten years.

The more we think about it, the more things we realise are out of our control – traffic accidents, illness, death, relationship breakups (to a degree). However, there are mostly things we can control to some degree – again relationships belong here, exam results (if I am granted a deferred exam, you can bet I am going to continue to study hard for it because this is in my control), driving safely and looking after yourself can help prevent but not totally preclude instances of accidents, illness and death.
Keep busy when unsure, do what you can, accept what you can’t do, and realise we are all in the same boat on this planet. Australia is actually more fortunate – no one person has to really worry about where to eat and sleep…that’s a huge blessing I know I take for granted, but try not to.


252682 - 2023-07-18 07:40:37


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