Not Responsible

Not Responsible

Posted 2013-11-30 by Mina Keenanfollow

Where's my undies?
Where did I put my glasses?
You seen my phone?
What did you do with my...? and so it goes on

I am expected to drop tools for undies. (Sigh).

How come I get to still be responsible with everyone now grown up? Why is the obligation still assumed by everyone including me?

I need to think about this. I've given a lot of good years. Haven't I? Not always right but always did my best. I want to do something I want to do now. I should be allowed. Shouldn't I?

More of this inner banter - reflecting and assessing. Working out the ratio of selfishness to justification. I catch a glimpse of myself while passing a mirror.

Suddenly all is sorted.

Oh I can't remember all your junk - I've developed some of my own junk. Not your secretary. You'll have to sort it yourself.

Get a life 'cos mine's busy.

At some point the people around you need to be accountable for themselves if you want a life of your own.


For women whose career has been 'Home' - (note the capital) this can be a harrowing transition fraught with feelings of guilt. Many homemakers have achieved a sense of worth through the caring of the home and its people.

If they have developed a positive sense of this - they can feel threatened when children leave home. It leaves them 'worthless' or with 'nothing to do'.

Often, this positive sense is countered by the negative. Many times a homemaker will answer the question 'What do you do?' with 'Nothing, I stay at home'. The sense is diminished because they feel as if they don't have a 'proper' (monetary) job.

Whatever you are doing now is right for this moment. If you don't feel good about it, you can begin to make plans. Start small and achievable

Possible scenarios

  • Learn something
  • Hobby
  • Volunteer

  • Responsibility

  • You don't need to be responsible for every single thing.
  • Is it an issue of control? Do you like being referred to for everything?
  • Work out where 'real' obligation lay.

  • Image "Washing Time" by Daniel Lee used under CC BY 2.0


    251510 - 2023-07-18 07:24:48


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