Loving Lies Against The Lovely Now
So I was smiling to myself. I was watching the young boy swim alone. I wanted to join him, but as Psychology practitioner that I am, I want to observe. He was so contented tracking how fast he can swim. I know his mom. I know his dad. He trusts me enough to be with me for a weekend.
I know his parents won't be together again. He's dad lives so far, and they both know it would take so long to see each other again at least personally. Dad is always on in a phone looking at him from a far, and face-to-face.
Then another boy came, much sociable than he is, and asked him where his dad is. The kid may have mistaken me as the mom. The boy answered simply where his father is, and took the swim again.
I was thrown into deep pondering on how I know all the lacks he has. The moments he would miss by not having a dad, and I felt sad. I didn’t feel pity, for I know that the kid has a strong spirit. I think the bond started when I held him in my hands when he was born.
What he hasn't realized yet, what he will never know or what doesn't matter to him wouldn't hurt. I would hold my mouth shut to forever protect his heart.
But I went deeper inside me. I thought about why I would think of these, and not how beautiful it is to see him swim independently for the first time, after watching him grow in years time. I suddenly realized that I was the only one sad. The only one who dwells on the past while the “now” is beautiful. So I was taken back to watching the kid smile, and I would admire how mindful a kid is about his happiness in the moment.
Adults’ responsibilities will be to keep the past that didn’t work out, and just relay good moments while he is young. When he is old enough to understand, then we can tell him realistically how things didn’t work out. Imagine. Just imagine relaying bitter moments, making a kid reminisce about things he didn’t truly see and feel. Making the kid see lacks turns him away from appreciating all the present moments.
Imagine how sad it would be to see a child grow longing for moments that could have been. Single parents probably have the greatest responsibility on keeping a child filled with love, to make the kid know that he or she is worth every time, effort, money, and presence. It is admirable to realize a single parent’s strength to set aside sadness, apart from getting back the self-love they might have lost in the process, while taking responsibility to raise a child as gracefully as possible.
I think that one key of resilience in changing fortunes of time will be to look back on how we carelessly played as young children. To be happy "now".
253118 - 2023-07-18 12:17:21