Honest Conversations with Friends Were All Messed Up

Recently I’ve realised something wonderful. All my friends are a bit f*cked up. I know, that sounds rather sinister and sad, as though I revel in the misfortune of others, and want to see my loved ones fail. It's not like that. Rather than being dark and a sign of frail friendships, it’s actually a supportive piece of knowledge. Discussing your innermost thoughts is not only something that you can only do amongst people you feel comfortable with, as discordant with our everyday reality as shedding a layer of skin, once done, the revelations are rather reassuring and quite enlightening.

We think it comes with age. Both opening about those demons within us, and recognising that there’s a certain liberation with knowing them. With age certainly doesn't come answers. I remember asking my parents once when I would feel like an adult. My hopes that one day everything would fall into place and I would just know the answers was swiftly crushed when my mother sighed 'Never. We just keep doing the best we can.'

So what happens? When younger your concerns, your goals, your aims, all of them are shaped by the world around you. Whilst the influence of the world doesn’t necessarily fade with time, and we certainly continue to be susceptible to the pressures of society, be they financial, social, marketing or others, we perhaps build up some resilience, and start to shape our own concerns. We don't have to explain ourselves and justify ourselves.

No one is perfect we realise, and in acknowledging that, it becomes easier to accept that fact in yourself. There's a certain self-acceptance and a more content outlook on life that comes with realising that life can be a bit, well, crap - but that's ok. Knowing that people you admire and love have their demons and also struggle, but whom you admire, you like, you love, and perhaps would never even realise feel this way, is liberating. They rock despite the fact they feel sad or hurt or having issues.

They've been crushed and kicked, sometimes physically, sometimes emotionally, sometimes by themselves, sometimes by others. But still they survive, and not only that, but you believe they survive well. Maybe your own concerns also are not as inhibiting as you realise. That's not to say that they don't matter, but that your mistakes, misfortunes and mishaps can be accepting and should not be a reason to defer your happiness.

Open up to your friends, and share some secrets. Be the real you with them, and in the process learn that the real you is ok. You are you. With your ups and downs, lumps and bumps, a thriving human with all the facets that involves.



#_self_knowledge
#_friendship
#_honesty
#_acceptance

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