Getting Back On Track

When I recently got discharged from hospital after an episode of severe depression, for some time things in my life were going very smoothly. I was taking my medication when I was supposed to, following a very rough kind of a routine, and engaging in behaviours that were positive.

However, like a whirlwind that hits a city that is never affected by turbulent weather, things suddenly have gotten out of control.

Upon an argument with a close friend and after a day of feeling particularly sore and over-tired, I began sleeping in excessively, stopped engaging in healthy behaviours, and feel like I am once again about to topple off an emotional tight-rope.

Much like the story of the Bauldeville orphans in a “Series of Unfortunate Events” I feel most of my life has been unpredictable. Like their lives, just as it is regaining predictability and routineness, I feel scared that something could happen to cause it to become unstable once again.

However, all is not lost. I lapse is not the same thing as a relapse. I see a lapse as a temporary step to the side, not a step back. A relapse is more a permanent and conscious decision to remain in the same unhelpful, non-proactive way of life.
I can, and now choose, from this moment on to:

1. To start getting up not at midday but at a reasonable time.

2. To start exercising again.

3. To start eating healthily again.

4. To start talking to other friends. So, I had a fight with a friend. I’m upset and can not go back. There are other people to socialise with.

5. Definitely keep up my writing. It is my passion and my purpose.

6. Not over-do it or under-do it – we all need a challenge, but if we think work is a substitute of some kind of problem, then all the articles or success in the world won’t change what’s really bothering us.

7. Keep contributing to the community in some way. I felt I did not fit in an op-shop I tried working in not long ago – I can keep my eyes open for something else.

8. Not beat myself up for this lapse.

9 Start my morning with daily prayer. This is followed by notes in my gratitude journal where I write what I am appreciative about in my current life.

Because I have let these things slip, is it little wonder that I have figuratively slipped off the tracks? Probably not!

Also important is a little planning and organisation - self-care, engagements, spiritual time, food in the fridge, and enough money for it.

Most importantly, not let myself get in a state where I am likely to let a lapse occur again –when I am over-tired, in pain, or stressed. Listen to my body, mind and emotions – my intuition. Also important is a little planning and organisation - self-care, engagements, spiritual time, food in the fridge, and enough money for it.

#_behaviour
#_change
#_habits
#_mindset
#_positive_thinking
#_psychology
#_planning
#_Self-care

%selfavenue