Deadlines

We all have them.
Those dates that linger in the background and get closer and closer.
Dates that have this massive lingering expectation placed upon them only for you.
It seems annoying that a date that is yet to come and lies somewhere in the future that holds an immense pressure and it get closer and closer everyday.

I have one of these days: the 10th of June.
This date holds enormous pressure for me.
This date is the day where I have to hand in a uni assessment I have been working on now for over a year.
An assessment that I have spent money on trying to gather all the necessary information from across Sydney and Canberra.
And I have spent hours upon hours of my time writing and rewriting the same paragraphs until I can no longer remember why I even started this project to begin with.

This day is also the day I finish uni and will have to face the big bad world.
I have been a uni student for over 4 years now.
I originally thought I would only attend to get my bachelor degree but when the opportunity for honours knocked on my door I couldn’t refuse. Honours had been something I had wanted to do for a long time but I never though I could do it. Now I'm nearly at the end of my 18 month course and it is only getting scarier.

This date is also where my adult life will finally begin.
I get teased by my family saying that I will be a professional student.
Even though I work part time and I have had a few jobs throughout my schooling years.
However when my uni career ends so will my need to work part time.

When I first started my honours degree I though that this date is light-years away and that I can put it off until later.
Then before I knew it, it was November and even though I had gathered all my primary documents I hadn’t started writing.
Now it is nearly the end of march and I am well and truly stuck in the middle of my writing but I am no where near done. It is annoying but ultimately my fault.
But still, as the June deadline draws ever closer I still can’t help but procrastinate.

This deadline is the end date, but in the mean time I have a million of other mini deadlines to keep to. These mini deadlines are stepping stones for me in order to make sure that my writing is on track and that I don’t leave writing 20,000 words to the last minuet.
But these mini deadlines are also coming fast and hard too.

I have become a hermit: I am either working at my part-time job, or I am working on my thesis. Or if I'm not doing either of those two things then I'm sleeping.
I have become boring to my friends and boyfriend so much so that I actually got dragged out of my apartment this weekend and forced to have fun.
It wasn’t that bad and I actually had fun: dinner in Darling Harbour with friends on Saturday and then go-karting on Sunday. It was so much fun and I'm glad that may friends did it.
But now I have to get my head back into the game and focus on my looming deadline.

I know every one has deadlines that they have to stick too.
Everyone has days/dates that mean something more to them then anyone else.
. are a pain to everyone who has them.
The trick is to keep calm and a lot a small amount of time everyday to write or to do a part of whatever it is that you need to do to reach your deadline.
And not let it all get to you so you end up taking every opportunity to procrastinate;
that you procrastinate so much that it ends up being two months before your looming deadline appears and your starting to freak out.

may stink, but they are a way of helping us organise our life and push us to uncomfortable limits in order to get something great out of them at the end.
Right now my deadline will end my uni career and marks the beginning of my adulthood, which has been on standstill till now.
But still this is only one deadline in my future; I'm sure that there will be many more to come.
Whether they are job/career or personal related issues.
The most important thing for me will be to concentrate on what lies beyond the deadline and think about what will be waiting for me when I over come my stomach churning, mind blowing hurdles.

#life
#time_management
#control
#attitude
#motivation
#work_ethic
#distraction

%selfavenue