Conflict or Opportunity

Conflict can be very difficult for people. Our negative connotations create anxiety when contemplating an approach to address our unmet needs within our home, workplace and society. The preconceived notion of conflict being a win or lose collision with others guides us to great lengths to avoid the cognitive and emotional stress that accompanies it. Conflict can manifest at a low intensity, escalate to anger and aggression, and influence people to do unrecoverable damage to their relationships.

The way we frame conflict has a profound effect on our expectations. Conflict is a natural occurrence when interacting and living with others. It helps us to grow as people, overcome difficulties and strengthen existing associations. Conflict doesn’t always need to carry a negative correlation.

A few of the advantages of managing conflict are:



Conflict is deeper than we usually perceive and our own behavior and attitudes influence our decision making. We may feel unneeded, unappreciated, unsupported or embarrassed to express our needs. The topic may be uncomfortable to address. We may not trust in our ability to keep calm or negotiate. We may have a personality clash with someone or feel anxious of their reaction.


A few of the common strategies people use when managing conflict are:






Interaction with others through non-aggressive dialogue.

This method is not usually our first inclination but, it can be quick, efficient, effective and very easy to learn. We can use this daily in a collaborative effort with others. Reaching an agreement is much more likely when we keep an open mind, listen attentively, remain willing to concede points, but also offer an opinion when we disagree. It’s important to make your position known. Here is a brief guideline to use when managing interpersonal conflict.








Contemplation may take longer than delivery. Obstacles are easier to manage after a dialogue or negotiation has been initiated. Your interests, objectives, values, wishes, desires, needs, feelings, etc. don’t always match with others. The cost of internalizing a problem will always outweigh the benefit, not to mention the indirect cost effecting children, spouses and family members. Resolution starts when you communicate that your needs are not being met. The goal is to have a discussion.

If conflict is too difficult, find a neutral third party to mediate. In the workplace, seek management help if needed. Generally management will be appreciative if you have attempted to address something within the team instead of coming to them with every conflict.

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