Why Saying No Can Be Difficult

by Marie Vonow (follow)

Stress (65)      Fear (53)      Conflict (14)      Guilt (11)      Independence (4)     

Some people find it difficult to say that tiny word, 'No'. Others don't. Who finds it hard, and why? What is the outcome of always saying, 'Yes' when sometimes you want to refuse?

There are a variety of reasons you may find it hard to refuse. Here are some -

Women are more likely than men to have trouble refusing. Society, especially in the past, has expected women to be compliant.

Research has shown women in particular get a boost of 'feel good' hormones when they agree to do something asked of them. This is more likely to happen if they can manage the task or fit in attending an event. If they are already very busy they are likely to feel resentful and not get that 'feel good' boost.

Sometimes it can happen that a person's feelings are hurt or there is a negative reaction when you say no. However, always saying yes can make you feel overwhelmed, stressed and taken for granted. Others may not even realise how you feel if you do not assert yourself.

On the other hand, they may not take your needs and feelings into consideration. The more often you automatically agree to do as you are asked, the more they will expect your compliance.

Sometimes saying yes is actually decreasing another person's opportunity to become more independent. In the long run, it may not be beneficial to him/her.

On some occasions choosing to say no can be beneficial to both parties. You don't feel so stressed and the other party learns new skills and becomes more independent. Yes, sometimes it is difficult to say, but it does get easier with practice.


# Conflict
# Fear
# Guilt
# Independence
# Stress

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