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Some of us are given this gift of having two different mums in the world. At the time, this gift usually manifests from some misfortunate - whether you were given away as a baby; adopted and/or fostered out due to being in an abusive household...or for any other reason.
Yours truly is a foster child, and I was a ward of the state until I was 18 years of age. My two mothers...
My first mother was a brilliant and highly intelligent woman, who unfortunately was ill at quite a young age. She had a miscarriage about six years before I was born, and to have me, the man she was with at the time ended up having an affair with her. He was going through a divorce at the time. My first mother really wanted to marry him, and hence felt rejected as he said no.
This mother of mine was ill. She was confined to a wheelchair when I was only nine years of age, and during my childhood she kept going in and out of hospital like it was her second home, if not soon to be her principal place of residence. About six months before she passed away, she could not toss and turn in bed at night (the simple things we take for granted), and was always crying for help.
Little did I know at the time that my first mother gave me a really beautiful gift with all its treats and treasures - a beautiful foster family. This family started to look after me from the age of nine one weekend a month as respite for my first mother. Furthermore, their responsibilities increased to look after me when my mother was frequently in hospital.
My mother spent the last five months of her life in many different hospitals. Sadly, she passed away due to a myriad of illness (she had every illness imaginable) at the young age of 53. Then that gift opened up.
My second mother (my foster mother) agreed to foster me on a permanent basis, and she is still my mother today, despite me being a motherless child 20 years later. It is through her that I had the strength and courage to not be a loser and a junkie, and to make something worthwhile with my life. Yay, I had a dad too, and inherited an older brother and sister, despite being an only child prior.
It was interesting to say the word "mum" in front of them both, before my birth mother passed away. Their response was "which one?"
Both mothers are awesome, yet I love my second/foster mother to bits, just like she is my own. To me, every day is Mothers Day. Just like to Jesus Christ, our redeemer and saving grace who died on the cross for us...irrespective as to how many times I thank my birth mum in heaven, as well as my amazing foster mother for all they have done for me to this date...no matter how many words of gratitude in the form of heartfelt thank you's I say to them, it will never be enough for their love and sacrifices to assist me in living (on the whole) a super successful life right now.
My birth mother gave me the greatest gift possible with an amazing foster family, and my grief for my birth mother is still (naturally) intense. My astrologer friend tells me to "stop grieving" - yet it's not that simple. I have spent well over $40,000 plus on many personal development seminars over a six-year period to help me get rid of it. I have better grips on it now, yet when the 22nd of November comes around each year, the grief thermostat is a true melting pot. Grief is unpredictable, and every grief has it's own metronome. The epitome of losing a mum, no matter how awesome your second mum is lasts an entire lifetime. It is different to getting over a break up with a partner. Partners are replaceable, but your real mum always isn't.
Sure, I did not go to school for four whole years as a result, and I was meant to be in year 8 by the time I was in year 12. In the senior years at school, I was miraculously a scholar and a prefect in my last two years of high school - despite being dubbed a druggie and street kid only one year prior. This adversity was the greatest gift. I cracked through the school system, yet I made up for it for spending two years at TAFE post-secondary school.
My second mother inspired me, and continues to help me through my grief. She is my mum too, and I love her as equally as my birth mum who constantly consults and grows me spiritually from upstairs. My second mother is entrepreneurial, and so were my two dads. Thanks to my second mum in particular, I would not be a proud business owner today. Her inspiration to encourage me to continue with my studies post-university has given me a doctorate degree today, of which I am looking forward to using in my work shortly. The gift of life by each mum is a real blessing that materialism cannot buy. Therefore, buying something for both mums (flowers - one for the grave, and another for the nice glass vase) is the least I could do for these two awesome mothers on Mothers Day. However, they are both worth much more than that. My second mother will be receiving heaps more from me without expecting anything in return, as she has given me more than enough abundance to help me create my own path of being a kick butt and prosperous business woman and doctor.
Thank you beautiful mums. I love and adore you both so much. Happy Mothers Day every day.