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We’re all familiar with the observation that ‘there’s one in every crowd,’ and no doubt just reading those words has conjured up in your mind the kind of person I’m talking about. We all know at least one.
It could be the person who:
- Talks too loud or too much, cutting off everyone else around them.
- Whines and complains, bringing everyone else down.
- Flirts, touches or invades ‘personal space.’
- Is overly-opinionated or discusses inappropriate topics.
- Boasts or big-notes themselves.
- Dresses inappropriately.
- Constantly drinks too much.
- Insults those around them without thinking.
- The ‘class clown’ who isn’t quite as funny or entertaining as they think they are.
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I know a few people like this and I’m always astounded that they don’t seem to realise what they’re doing. They are completely unaware that others are avoiding them or making excuses to get away from them.
Which leads us to wonder whether we ourselves are ever seen as that ‘one in a crowd.’ It takes a certain level of self-awareness, and the ability to pick up signals from those around us to know if others enjoy our company or if they’re seemingly avoiding us.
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I have always been keenly aware of my interactions with others and whether they seem to be responding positively to me or not. If someone continuously looks at their watch when they are with me, doesn’t respond to calls or texts, always seems too busy to catch up or has an excuse to leave early, I can be pretty sure I’m not one of their favourite people. I tend to back off and wait for a signal from someone that they like me or want my company.
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While it’s difficult to solve the dilemma if that ‘one in a crowd’ person is someone we can’t possibly avoid, like a work colleague or family member, there are steps we can take to insure that that person is not us. It’s a simple matter of being aware of the situation, the people we are with, the appropriate way to conduct ourselves, and taking notice of how people respond to us.