Dr Gary Chapman is the pioneer in this arena of personal development. He created these Five Love Languages, and is the author of the same with the same title. It is true, there are five different ways to communicate with your loved one. Each person does speak the same language. Regardless as to whether or not you believe that men are from mars, and women are from venus - we can definitely communicate and be effective mates. Again, in any relationship - opposites can and do attract in some cases. In a marriage, a couple come together in unity with a unique set of values and priorities. Naturally, this can cause conflicts. If not conflicts, then most certainly some misunderstandings at times.
The Five Love Languages are as follows, and there is a great quiz for each couple to take in understanding each others love language. I have taken this extract from my book Your Pandora's Boxes to Abundance, my personal best selling book to date.
1. Words of Affirmation
If your partners love language is words of affirmations, the key is to continually say nice things to them. People will get hurt in relationships - because we are both sides. If you take the time, and with heart say to this person "I love it how you..." and/or "you are such a great person because..." and/or "I love you because...." these words mean so much to this person.
2. Acts of Service
If acts of service is a love language your partner prefers, then do some good deeds. If he has been busy working insane hours and he likes his room clean, and it's not too clean at the time - then go ahead and clean their room for them. If you're a woman and you're in love with a busy man - why not save him some time and money, and iron his shirts if he does not mind. Cook dinner for them, or proofread their business proposal if they have confidence in your editing skills. You get the drift. Perform an act of service for them. Be of service for them as you would in your work to be abundantly wealthy, yet you do not need to apply this love language as consistently as you would in your job or business. All it takes is an hour a week. Up to you. Trust your gut feeling on this.
3. Receiving Gifts
Perhaps your partner loves receiving gifts. Men, this is where your flowers to your girlfriend will get appreciated the most. Give the gift wholeheartedly. The other party can sense whether you are giving the gift out of love, haste or obligation. Truthfully, one of my partners in the past said to me "I love giving you flowers because you are the best girlfriend I have had so far. With my previous girlfriends, even though I didn't like them, I just occasionally brought them some flowers anyway." To me the flowers from this same man was a gift. To the other girls involved, it came from a sense of obligation, from this same man that he has to give the girl some flowers.
Flowers are nice, yet we do not expect them. Find out what your partner likes from his/her mates. Success leaves clues. Surprise your partner and buy them something (it does not need to be much or to take much) unexpectedly, and not just routinely on Valentines Day, on their birthday and at Christmas. Buy something unexpectedly, when they least expected it. Just for being them. The smile on their face could be priceless.
4. Quality Time
People do understand that we're all busy people, yet this love language to such people who possess this love language after taking the test, really means that they want to spend some quality time with you. Some interrupted quality time with (just) you, and ideally without the mobile phone ringing. Even a weekend away. Just you and me would be awesome to this person, and fruit to their wellbeing. Make some time to be with such a person. Otherwise they won't feel valued in the relationship.
5. Physical Touch
Finally, for the last love language - if your partner loves being touched - then go ahead and touch them. Pamper them, and give them the full treatment. If you're only seeking a platonic relationship, and your partner comes up with this result; assess whether or not you're comfortable with kisses, hugs, holding hands and gentle touching without the sex component. If not, and no alternatives can be sorted, it will be time for you to move on to allow this person to fulfil their needs in a relationship. This is where tantra pays dividends. This person wants to be in bed with you.
Give them as much of it as you can, while ensuring that your love language is met simultaneously. Massages are a fantastic physical touch technique in relationships as well.