People may be considered to be a bit crazy if they talk to themselves out loud, but we really talk to ourselves all of the time! What is really crazy is how horrible we can be to ourselves...
The moment you wake up in the morning you are talking to yourself. Do you tell yourself that you feel like crap or that you feel good? Do you tell yourself that you are going to have a good day today? Or do you warn yourself that you are in for a hell of day?
When you walk into the bathroom to splash your face or whatever it is that you do, do you look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are beautiful? Or do you beat yourself up and put yourself down?
Picking out an outfit, choosing what to eat, trying to stay on time, thinking about your day ahead, about money, about friends, family, co workers, work, study, shopping, bills, dreams, goals, worries, problems and plans... When thinking about all of these things what do you tell yourself? Do you give yourself encouragement? Or plant doubt in your own mind?
If you happen to glance at your nails through out the day and they look a little worse for wear, do you say to yourself "I'm going to pamper you a little later" or do you think Ugh! Disgusting! How could I have let them get this way?
Every moment of every day we are having a conversation with ourselves. When I think of all the things I tell myself each day, and then compare it to what I would say to my best friend or my daughter they just don't seem to match up. I would never speak to my loved ones the way I speak to me.
Today is New Year's Eve, and I thought I had long given up on making resolutions, but this year I'm just going to make one. My New Year's Resolution is to be a better friend to myself. I want to encourage myself and stand up against me for myself.
Sound a bit crazy? I don't think so. I think we could all be a bit nicer to ourselves. And why not? Who else knows you better than you do? And who is going to be the one there for you when no one else is? You!
We've got to take care of ourselves. Catch those nasty thoughts, those put downs, those doubts. Tell yourself to shut up if you've got nothing nice to say about you! And advise yourself just as you would your dearest friend.
At the very beginning of this year I attended a silent meditation retreat at a Buddhist Monestry. One of the most beautiful lessons I learned there was when a monk took us on a walking meditation through a garden, and he said, "Take your mind for a walk, as you would a good friend. If your friend was having troubles, what would you say to them? You'd distract them from all of the negative talk, and remind them of all the good things about themselves." I love this. And I'm afraid to say that it has taken until now, the last day of the year to look back and reflect to realise that this is what I have needed most.
We have the opportunity to be the best friend we've ever had. There is that saying, Do unto to others what you would want done unto you. How about we flip that in reverse and Do to ourselves what we would want done unto others...