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Talking One-On-One: Intimate Friendships

by jussiecatwriter (follow)
Relationships (158)      Communication (121)      Friendships (30)      Intimacy (5)      Bonding (1)     


2 men in a canoe together
Image courtesy of taerty at freedigitalphotos.net/You get to know a whole new side to a person alone


I recently invested in a digital camera. In typical style of any piece of new equipment I have, I’ve been taking endless photos, with everything being photo-worthy!

Seriously, I have taken photos of my cat (well to me that’s serious, to some perhaps frivolous). Anyway, I downloaded them fervently onto my computer.
I have a friend who is even crazier about animals than me, and always expresses genuine interest in my cat Suzie’s well-being. So I thought it would be an exciting idea to send her a powerpoint slideshow. I have always thought that these sort of manoeveurs would be relatively straightforward. However, I spend a frustrated few hours totally in vain. I am sure I managed to add unwanted files to complicate future endeavours with my computer.
My dear friend down the road, who is a terribly intelligent lady, and very competent with technology, patiently sat with me for two hours, and we created a slideshow beyond my dreams.

She then invited me down to her shed. Her little Pomeranian dog loves catching lizards there, and so she ritualistically takes the beautiful little thing there every day.

Anyway, we ended up having an intimate conversation, in which we got to know each other on a much deeper level. The time passed really quickly and I gained so much from that time spent.
We shared a lot more in common than I thought. I thought to myself “Am I really that different to other people?” I always thought myself rather alone in my idiosyncratic difficulties. However, I found out, talking to her, that not only had she gone through similar experiences to me, in turn, so had many of her friends.

I came home with the conclusion that nobody has it really easy. However, each person has their own joys which make life worthwhile for them. For her it was her little dog. For me it is my cat. Neither of us have had children, so in a way, I guess we are the same in that our pets have become our children.
Yet, I realise that we all have our differences too. She has a different temperament to me – more patient, more cautious, and has a whole host of different interests.

Even though now I know how to use Powerpoint, the highlight of the afternoon was the conversation I had with my friend, who I now know that much better.

It’s always a wonderful experience to sit one on one with someone, and get to know them. Often, one-on-one is the only time you really get to know them, for people often hide aspects of themselves to protect their vulnerability when with others.

If you have time, and if you feel you know someone well enough, take the opportunity to have that coffee, to go for that walk.

By all means, continue to talk to them in the presence of others, as will be the case most of the time. However, just like intimacy with romance, intimacy in friendship is often achieved talking to them on their own.

# Friendships
# Intimacy
# Bonding
# Communication
# Relationships
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