I used to be famous for snubbing people in high school.
Iíve snubbed people I donít know, and people who I personally know. I snubbed whenever I walked past a teacher, a school mate, or even a family member. I couldnít look into their eyes, for I was afraid and would get conscious every time. It was an instant habit Iíd do whenever I saw someone coming. It was an automatic reaction that I got used to. I didnít know why Iíd do it, or why I felt like it was the best thing to do.
Was I insecure about my appearance? Did I really hate them? Or was I only shy?
For as long as I could remember, snubbing people became a normal thing to do. I didnít even feel it. It was like an ordinary response. I was so good at it that I have lost control of stopping it. And so on that day, I was completely sure people thought of me as the person who ignores everyone.
One day in the beginning of my senior year, a boy liked me. I would catch him looking at me. He would start little conversations about the most random things, and Iíd laugh and agree. Heíd compliment me about my performance, and would chat with me during music class. He was a sweetheart and a nice person. He would always look for me in the train station and pretend that he wasnít. It was one of those moments when I developed a little crush on him.
It wasnít long until I realised that I really liked him. It was also the time I tried to put the snubbing back in its place.
I would pass him down the halls and wouldnít even look at him. We used to sit together in music class, and now I let others sit on his seat. We used to have little talks while we walk out of class, but whenever he tried to approach me, I'd lose control and couldnít help but snub him, right there, on his face. It hurt me deeply inside. I was embarrassed for what I did. Every time Iíd see him coming, Iíd go the other way and pretend he wasnít even there.
I snubbed for a reason. I snubbed him because I didnít want him to know that I liked him. I had pride.
As the year passed by, I was a complete ignorant who acted like I didnít even know him. I knew what I was doing was so wrong, but I kept doing it anyway. Little by little, I felt like I was hurting him. And so he did the same thing in return.
He didnít make an effort to talk to me anymore, let alone notice me whenever we were in a room together. He would hang out with his other friends. I was so mad at myself for ignoring him for no reason. It was because I was just shy to show my feelings for him. I thought that if I ever notice him, or even say a ĎHií or two, heíd get the memo that I like him. Which for me, was such a shameful thing to do. I didnít want anyone to think I liked anyone.
At our graduation day, I noticed that he wanted to have a photo with me, but being a jerk I was, I avoided him and would go to the other direction. At our formal night, I did the same thing. And when I came home, I was drowning in regret.
And now I just let him slip away from my fingers. We never talked anymore. We never even knew something like us existed.
And it was all because of the snub.
Snubbing can affect the littlest heart string found in everyone. We may think itís nothing. Itís just a little action, but remember, people have feelings and feelings are whatís inside of people. A single rude response can affect relationships and opportunities. It ruins a personís reputation and personality.
Now every time I come across to someone, whether it may be an old friend, a former teacher or even a mail man; I never forget to smile and at least say ĎHií to them. A little compliment wouldnít hurt anyone, and it would definitely brighten up their day.