Don't wait until the hour glass is empty: make a priority that you will not live your life with regrets you could have prevented. Image courtesy of digitalart.com
One fear that people almost universally can relate to is loss of a loved one. For those readers who have recently experienced this grief Ė hang in there. It might not seem like it right now, but time will heal. Savour the memories you had. If you have any regrets, let them go. We all do the best we can at any time. No-one intentionally sets out to not try and make any relationship that is important to them the best that they can.
My mother is going to be 74 next February. I honestly do not know how I would cope if something happened to her. It was not until she suffered from breast cancer that we became extremely close. We seem to sometimes realise the preciousness that canít be overstated of the relationships we have with those special to us, whether parent, spouse, child, close friend or pet.
It is easy and psychologically understandable not to entertain the thought of losing these special souls. It is probably psychologically very painful (at least I find it so) to even entertain the thought of a loved oneís passing.
This could be why we donít even try to think about what is actually worthwhile: act as if every day is precious while the special people (and pets) are still with you. This is painful to think about but consider how you would feel if you lost a special soul today. Would you have regrets? Not spending enough time with them? Conflicts? Not being interested in their lives?
Of course we donít want to think about anything to do with death Ė this could be why we adopt a blaze attitude at times, and some of us may continue to delay behaving in a way that communicates to another person how very important they are to us.
However, what is more painful is if you donít. This is not to say you expect their passing, or become unnecessarily preoccupied with it.
You may try this exercise Ė it may be a painful one, but it could save you from regretting and feeling guilt if something did happen. Imagine you were to lose a loved one in a month. How would you treat them? Youíd probably want to spend as much time as possible with them.
Of course, lifeís demands often donít allow what we would like. However, consider how you spend your time? Are some pursuits really so important that they usurp the gift of having someone you love in your life. You would want to tell them how much they mean to you? Donít wait Ė say it today.
For example, after mum got breast cancer (she is in remission, and I thank God for that), my goal is to relish time with her, and we tell each other how much we love each other. Isn't it sad it can take such a serious situation to wake us up to the reality of the preciousness of life?
What about your own life? Again, we donít want to think about our own mortality. However, again, as painful as this exercise may be, you donít want to live with any regrets. Imagine writing a letter to a loved one knowing you only had say a year to live. What would you say?
Donít wait. Tell those you love how you feel today. As the song goes, ďyou donít know what you got until itís goneĒ.
Life is precious and fragile. You may want to practice these exercises about how you would treat your loved ones to make sure you have no regrets.