Are you a thinker or a feeler or a bit of both..would like to share what others think are the pros and cons of this! Image courtesy of AKARAKINGDOMS at freedigitalphotos.net
Some people are told they “feel too much”. These are often by the more rational folk, who cannot fathom how something as ‘irrelevant as a feeling” in their eyes, should affect a person so illogically. For example “I feel so worried that my boyfriend doesn’t really love me”, to the response of “why?” And the reply, “I don’t know just a feeling I have”….I am one of those feeling, emotional types.
I think we are all kind of on a spectrum from being a very emotional being to being a very rational, logical one. Unfortunately, I am on the far end of emotionality I feel, with the consequence I often feel out of control, with my emotions running, and sometimes ruining my life. How many times have I felt a certain way, only to find out logic did triumph. However, I usually managed to confuse at the best and insult at the worst the person so accused of the imagined upsetting deed.
Being emotional can be like being on a roller –coaster…makes life seem somehow unpredictable. I think that’s because being this way can lead you to follow through your plans on how you feel, rather than your logical plans. Firstly, then, you beat yourself up for not following your plans, and secondly, life seems chaotic. A victim of the feelings.
However, there is a positive side. When I feel happy, I feel my joy is exuberant, alive, energising and incurs wonderful feelings of optimism. However, when I feel sad, I respond in a much more despondent fashion than the situation would demand.
So, the other day I told myself “a person can change” and that I was “going to become one of those calm, logical folk”. I’d like to have a life where I follow through on my plans, undeterred by silly imagined emotional events that might happen. There would be no need for anxiety unless the situation explicitly warranted it. I would be calm. Most importantly, this would mean I would be more in control of my life. Calm, stable, only reacting to what I needed to.
However, as much as I have tried to embrace this foreign personality, I am finding it exceedingly difficult. As I advance more into my thirties, I am somewhat able to take better control of my undulating and often unwarranted emotions and carry through actions that are rational to the situation. However, being a perfectionist, I am not only finding it hard, but beating myself for finding it hard.
Being emotional may not be so bad. I find it extremely easy to express love and affection, and can become very enthusiastic and excited which can be contagious I’ve been told. Though on the flip-side I can become anxious, angry and depressed, without good reason.
Being rational may mean these roller coasters don’t happen.
Being emotional and being rational both have positives and negatives. However, I don’t believe many of us are out the wide extremes of these ranges. I am gaining skills at thinking just as much as feeling. I am understanding that not everyone feels comfortable saying “I love you” for those rational folk. So, I am going for a balance. It will take consciousness and will-power. Not everyone emotional probably needs to do it, but I am that far on the extreme feeling section that I feel it will lead me to follow through on plans, and not let my emotions run my life.
I am interested in whether other readers feel they are at one spectrum or the other; and also how positive or otherwise this is seen to be. I am also interested in whether people believe change is possible, and if a person should just be themselves or whether others have tried to shift the heart-head ratio…