You can be the bright colour in the darkness. You are in control of you in any situation. So go on take control.
In Part 1 we looked at the power we all have within us to control ourselves and why we cannot control others or allow their actions to negatively effect us.
So in Part 2 we will now look at ways in which we can learn to control our thoughts, reactions and feelings to anything that happens in our lives.
How can I remain in control in any situation?
The next time someone does something that upsets you remember your secret power and draw upon it. Think I can be upset and let it get to me and bring me down. However, by doing that remember you will be the one who suffers. You will be the one who is still fuming about it later. The one who will lie in bed tossing and turning whilst the situation plays over and over in your head like a broken record. So perhaps think of your other options.
What options do I have?
There are so many, the world is literally your oyster. Here are three common ways and easy ways to decide on your reaction and upon your next step.
1) Take action: what can you do as a responsible adult to improve the situation?
2) You could speak to the person involved in a calm and cool manner to find out the facts. It is possible that it is simply a misunderstanding. Finding out could save you from unnecessary hurt and ill feelings.
3) Decide what to do next based upon the importance of your relationship to this person. Are they your partner, a family member, a friend, a coworker? Will you still need to be around this person on a regular basis? If you do need to be around this person then clearing things up in a mature way can save you from awkward moments with this person in the future. What about simply making the decision that you refuse to let them upset you. Remind yourself that you don't know about everything that is going on in their world. This could be the way they are or it could be completely out of character for them. Perhaps they are not feeling well, perhaps they are stressed, worried or annoyed by something else that has absolutely nothing to do with you. We don't know because we are not mind readers. If you know them well perhaps your next step is to enquire about their well being.
What if I try to control my thoughts and feelings but nothing works?
Like anything that's important in life it takes time to learn this unique and powerful way of thinking. Our brains are trained to prepare for the worst and even to let others think that they have control over us. At first your brain will keep switching back to the old style of thinking like how hardly done by you have been. However each time it does don't let it, just refuse to let it and let it know who is boss. Slowly switch your mind back to positive thoughts on how you are in control and on how you are strong and powerful enough to work it out.
Sometimes all you can do is practice acceptance. Accept that others have different values, personalities and opinions to yours. Accept that sometimes people do or say the wrong things. We are all human, we all make mistakes.