Where's my undies?
Where did I put my glasses?
You seen my phone?
What did you do with my...? and so it goes on
I am expected to drop tools for undies. (Sigh).
How come I get to still be responsible with everyone now grown up? Why is the obligation still assumed by everyone including me?
I need to think about this. I've given a lot of good years. Haven't I? Not always right but always did my best. I want to do something I want to do now. I should be allowed. Shouldn't I?
More of this inner banter - reflecting and assessing. Working out the ratio of selfishness to justification. I catch a glimpse of myself while passing a mirror.
Suddenly all is sorted.
Oh I can't remember all your junk - I've developed some of my own junk. Not your secretary. You'll have to sort it yourself.
Get a life 'cos mine's busy.
At some point the people around you need to be accountable for themselves if you want a life of your own.
For women whose career has been 'Home' - (note the capital) this can be a harrowing transition fraught with feelings of guilt. Many homemakers have achieved a sense of worth through the caring of the home and its people.
If they have developed a positive sense of this - they can feel threatened when children leave home. It leaves them 'worthless' or with 'nothing to do'.
Often, this positive sense is countered by the negative. Many times a homemaker will answer the question 'What do you do?' with 'Nothing, I stay at home'. The sense is diminished because they feel as if they don't have a 'proper' (monetary) job.
Whatever you are doing now is right for this moment. If you don't feel good about it, you can begin to make plans. Start small and achievable
You don't need to be responsible for every single thing.
Is it an issue of control? Do you like being referred to for everything?