It was the middle of a cold night in Melbourne. When my phone rang, I knew something was wrong right then. With a swallow in my dry throat, I picked the phone. My dad had ringed me. "Daddy" I said with a horrible feeling of something not good to be heard. He told me in a slow and deep voice: "Your Nanama passed away." As I heard that, my world went blank for a few seconds. My grandmother was a lovely, strong lady. A flash of my childhood days and her beautiful face came to my eyes. Tears rolled down as I lay quietly. It was then that I realised I would never get a chance to rest my head in her lap and get to hug her again.
Losing someone close to you can be extremely painful, and nothing in this world in any form can understand that ache in your heart. More than anything, it creates a vacuum in you and a million thoughts about how you could have been a better granddaughter or a better friend while they were still here with us. Grieving is inevitable, but you still have to pull yourself out of bed and get out of your pyjamas. I have read somewhere "Give time, time." Well time cannot do wonders or take away pain, but it sure will help you to come up with ways to deal with it.
Music Music helped me. It really makes you feel light and provides a sense of empathy. Even the radio works where they would talk just about anything. It makes you open the window to see the world outside.
I strongly believe that its only during these agonising times you realise the value of your friendships. Friendship is God's gift, and friends have the enormous power to lift pain away from you by a small hug. You realise how many people care for you and love you, and want to share your sorrow. Make an attempt to spend more time with friends whether you like it or not. Create reasons to meet. Organise a small dinner at home, or simply visit your neighbour with a cake. You sure would feel a lot less pain.
Realise your potential
There would always be something in your life that you wanted to try. It could be a cooking lesson; a baking lesson; a swimming lesson or that zumba class you've always wanted to try. Make a sincere attempt to give it a shot. You have the opportunity to learn something new. It cleanses your soul and reminds you of what you are capable of.
You are always are a good person. You drop a coin at a bake sale or at a traffic signal. But why not go a step further? Why don't you organise a bake sale or probably speak to friends, and collect donation for a children's charity. A feeling of helping others and putting a smile on someone's face wipes many tears from yours. Try this, and you will know what I am talking about.
Pay a compliment
Maybe its too difficult to notice something nice or find something beautiful; but there are times when your heart pops up with a compliment for someone. Take that extra effort to tell them how you feel. It might light their day, but it sure will light you for a second.
Watch a child
Children are simply amazing. There is something in their smile. Watch them in a mall or a park. Oh yeah, and the tantrum throwing ones too. When I see rolling children on the floor, I get tempted to say 'Time Out,' not to them but to their talking parents.
Take a walk
Just step out. It doesn't matter where you are. Take a walk in a park or a lake, or at the beach. It refreshes every bit of you.
And you thought I forgot Family. Family stands by you through your grief, and gives you a shoulder to lean on even in the middle of the night. A sense of unity makes you realise you are not alone.
All said you will always remember your loved ones for their passion; the courage they gave you; the lessons they taught you, and the strength of their love. While you close your eyes so tight to shed a tear, you know after some time they wouldn't be happy to see you that way. You wipe your tears and tell yourself that this too shall pass. It is that moment that they still live with you. It is then that you realise the responsibility to show them your love by living the way they would have wished for you.
To everyone who has lost someone, life can never be the same but it sure can be made meaningful. Let us hope together that they are in a better place and look up on the stars and tell them that " We love you forever".