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Motherhood

by Mina Keenan (follow)
Mina's Printables:) Perspective (98)      Motherhood (11)      Realisation (5)      Reality (3)      Proportion (1)     


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Daughter rings crying one year on my birthday.

I've got some bad news, I'm pregnant.
(Pause) Not bad news, no shame in a baby.

Thinking: Oh gosh, that's what I was told when I had your brother and when I brought that baby home.

(Swing phone voice piece up 180 degrees so she can't hear all the gasping and spluttering).

The bad news had more to do with the situation of her relationship.

Fast forward. Her on the phone. She wasn't feeling that flash so went and got her.

Ring the midwife, you're in labour.
I probably don't need to go to hospital, because I'm not due for a month.
Get in the car.

I'm not doing this, I want a cigarette.
She started to pull the lines out of her arm.

Its not a choice or something you can put off - its happening now.

I CAN'T do this.
Tears.

We all think that - its okay. This is how it happens.

Holding her hand, our faces inches apart.
Don't look at me. (Deja vu - I'd said the same, but was referring to my 'bits', not my facial expressions during labour). Someone got her a flannel, she put it over her face and got on with it.

Baby appeared 9.10am. We looked at the baby, looked at each other and burst out crying.

Mum, I'm so sorry for all the bad things I did.

The enormity/reality had hit.

You know how people say their lives flashed before them in a time of trauma? Well it happens at the other extreme of the scale - in very good times too. I reckon that at that moment her life flashed before both of us.

I started to laugh.

All that growing up stuff was little league. Gone. We've got bigger and better things to think about.

Welcome to the Motherhood.



Photo credit: "tiny foot" by limaoscarjuliet under license cc by 2.0



#Motherhood
#Realisation
#Reality
#Perspective
#Proportion
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