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Listening The Key To Connection

by jussiecatwriter (follow)
Relationships (158)      Communication (121)      Connection (20)      Listening (19)     

an ear and hand around it
Image courtesy of Till Scheel at Dreamstime.com

Are you really with me? Listening is the key to really connect to others.

I have recently noticed something about myself which I didnít like too much, and which I made a conscious decision to change. When conversing with someone, at times I had something on my mind which was preoccupying me, so that I could not really be present with somebody when they were talking. At other times, I was so eager to say something, because I had thought of a point which related to what the other person was saying that I actually interrupted. Yet again, on other occasions I was thinking about what I might say in return that I wasnít actually focussed on the words of the other person.

So I decided to conduct an experiment. Well, it shouldnít have really been an experiment. It should have been a philosophy for conversing that I always adopted. This is what I am now aiming for after discovering the rewards of what I was about to discover. That was, I decided to listen with my whole being to my conversation partner and only on that.

Conversations became richer, and I felt actually really and truly connected to the other person. I realised how much the other person had in common with me, and would later ponder that all humans are essentially the same Ė we all have had similar experiences in one way or another they shared a common denominator.

I focussed on the meaning of what they were saying, the feelings expressed and maintained eye contact. Here is what I noticed:

*Conversations became richer and more enjoyable as I really felt that I connected to the other person, realised their common humanity and how much, in one way or another, we had in common.

*I felt I could be more empathetic as I literally could put myself in their shoes and imagine how they must have been feeling and thinking in the situations they described to me

*I no longer felt socially shy or awkward. When I stopped worrying about what I might say and instead focussed on them, conversation became natural as responses naturally flowed from being tuned in to what they were saying

*I felt connected Ė I really desired to be there for the other person, and even though I will never know, I think perhaps people know when you are really listening, and only just nodding or speaking absent-mindedly.

Now I donít see this process as effortful or unnatural, but something I am eager to do as much as possible. Listening, not talking, really is the key to true connection.

# Listening
# Communication
# Connection
# Relationships
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