I believe there is a much bigger force than all of us, that works for the good. Image courtesy of Salvatore Vuato at freedigitalphotos.net
Not that long ago, I remember writing an article about ďBeing in control of Your lifeĒ. I remember this to be a reflection of my current state of mind. At the time I felt out of control, powerless and felt that lifeís forces were pushing me this way and that like a leaf in the wind. However, I now perceive the Ďwindí to be a much greater force, God, and I feel relieved to be the metaphorical leaf.
You see, while desperately trying to hold the reins of my life, while trying to be in control, my life was actually in a state of being out of control. I donít wish to disclose personal details: however, I do wish to say that since succumbing my will to that of a Higher Power (I believe in God but I know that readers may or may not have this and I respect that), I see an overall design to my life become clearer for the first time.
Things that seemed to be signs that my life was not going the way I wanted to, and therefore Ďbadí, now seem part of a bigger picture.
I believe that God has a grand design for all of us, a purpose. I believe that if I let Him, He will lead the way.
It takes a lot of courage to take a step back, and deal with the fact that I am letting go of control, and turning over my Will to Him. I need to be able to deal with the uncertainty that this brings, that I canít control every day, every incident Ė thereís a lot I canít control. However, I can control the choices I make as His will for my life becomes slowly but surely evident.
It is an exciting process as I keep looking back and see the reason for things, in retrospect. Itís like seeing a jigsaw puzzle forming a bigger picture, and knowing why later each piece had its place. Itís like having a major plot in a storyline unfold and then earlier knowing why characters or the plot revealed itself earlier like it did.
Like a jigsaw puzzle or a story unfolding, we need to be patient with regard to not knowing the reason for everything but trusting it will form part of a bigger picture that promises to make sense in the end.
I believe God has a unique and special purpose for each of our lives, as individually exciting and as amazing as each person is different. We are guided Ďpiece by pieceí to fit the jigsaw pieces into place, having our stories told to us, as each clue is given to us step by step.
It seemed scary to me at first to turn my will over to a Higher Being. However now it seems safer, exciting and more meaningful. Even though not everything will happen like I want it to, if I can hold onto the trust vital to believe then I know everything will turn out for the greater good.
Just like how we donít have to tell her bodies how to digest a meal, or how cells to gather together to create new tissue in our bodies, just as a baby forms miraculously on its own in the womb, so a greater power (at least I believe) guides our lives for a greater good. Not everything will certainly seem great along the way. I lost my father when I was four, and I have almost lost my life four times, among other things and have had other experiences traumatic to anyone, but we all have had these in different ways. However, itís comforting to know there is Someone at there whoís love will lead me home.