Home    Subscribe    Write for Us    FAQ    Contact    HubGarden    Login

Is It Rudeness Or Is It Something Else

by Marie Vonow (follow)
Blogs:https://minamaries.blogspot.com.au https://simpleselfimprovement.blogspot.com.au/
Communication (122)      Social (19)      Behaviour (10)      Conversation (8)      Manners (5)      Eye Contact (4)      Assumption (2)     


Rudeness or
Adapted from Pixabay image

Sometimes we have interactions with someone who seems rude, thoughtless or self-centred. This can make us feel annoyed, hurt or frustrated. The behaviour is rude but is the person rude? Could there be a reason for the behaviour and perhaps we need to be more understanding or make some allowances rather than assuming the person is 'rude'.

Just a few of the many behaviours which can seem rude are -
interrupting others who are talking
monopolising the conversation
not participating in small talk
avoiding eye contact
a weak handshake or avoiding a handshake
not acknowledging someone

What are possible reasons why some people might behave in these ways.

Interrupting
I used to get so annoyed with someone who frequently interrupted and changed the topic. I felt I was being disrespected and that my opinion didn't matter. As a result often I didn't bother talking about some topics with this person because i didn't want to be interrupted. It was a major problem in our interactions.

This person exhibited many signs of having Adult Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. While I was doing some reading I came across information stating people with this condition often interrupt others because of their disorder. Although I still dislike being interrupted I can now see there may be reasons for a person to do this other than them being self centred and rude.

Monopolising a conversation
Have you ever been with someone, perhaps an elderly person, who monopolises the conversation once they start talking? It could be because they like to have centre stage and aren't interested in what others have to say.

On the other hand their hearing may be failing and they don't want to admit it. When others are talking they can't follow the conversation due to their hearing problem. They feel left out and isolated. However, if they are doing the talking they know what is going on and feel included.

Small talk
Have you ever attempted small talk only to get simple one or two word responses? The other person doesn't attempt to initiate any conversation and the feeling is awkward. You feel you should be conversing but the other person isn't making any effort at small talk.

While it is possible the other person can't be bothered talking, it could be that he/she just doesn't have the skill and it may be difficult for that individual to learn what many people pick up easily.

People with Aspergers Syndrome tend to have difficulty with small talk. Many are happy to have in depth conversations about topics they are interested in but to them small talk is a waste of time.

Culture has an influence on small talk. In some cultures small talk does not play an important part in social interactions. The topics and type of questions people feel are acceptable to ask will vary according to culture and being uncertain of what to say without being considered rude may stop some from participating in small talk.

Eye contact
If you live in Australia, the UK, Western Europe or the USA you have probably been brought up to consider it good manners to establish eye contact when engaging in conversation. Doing so is believed to show you are engaged in the conversation and are trustworthy.

However, in some cultures there are different ideas about appropriate eye contact. In some Middle Eastern countries women are discouraged from too much eye contact with men as this is seen as showing romantic interest. In places such as China and Japan people seen as in a subordinate position avoid steady eye contact with anyone in a superior position. Therefore an employee will not establish prolonged eye contact with his employer because it would be considered rude.

In many Latin American and African cultures prolonged eye contact is interpreted as aggressive and hence regarded as very disrespectful.

People with Aspergers syndrome may avoid eye contact because it makes them feel extremely uncomfortable. I have read what people with Aspergers syndrome say on this topic and found some get agitated when they force themselves to maintain eye contact. Others find it harder to concentrate on what the other person is saying if they are also concentrating on making themselves have the sustained eye contact which is what is expected of them.

People with social anxiety are also likely to have difficulty sustaining eye contact.



Eye
Image courtesy of Pixabay

Hand Shake
A firm hand shake is considered respectful and a sign of someone who is confident, reliable and can be trusted. Bad luck then if you are unable to grip another person's hand firmly due to arthritis, multiple sclerosis, stroke, carpal tunnel syndrome or another condition.

Prosopagnosia
If someone you have met or someone you know well does not acknowledge you it may not be that they are snubbing you. They may have prosopagnosia and be unable to recognise faces. This condition can make social interactions difficult for a person.

Yes, there are rude people in this world. Some ignore social conventions or purposely do things to show they don't care about the feelings of others. They may even intend to hurt the feelings of those they come into contact with. Others simply do something considered rude out of ignorance of good manners. Then there are those who need some understanding because the behaviours which appear rude are due to causes beyond their control. In some circumstances they may be able to modify their behaviour so they 'fit in' more but to do so they need the support of those around them rather than censure.


# Assumption
# Behaviour
# Communication
# Conversation
# Eye Contact
# Manners
# Social
I like this Article - 3
More Articles by Marie Vonow
What is the definition of ‘friend’? My Heinemann Australian Dictionary says,’ any person whom one ...
161 views
Yesterday I had the pleasure of watching three pre-schoolers happily interacting on the train
137 views
The beach is a great place
108 views
I have just read an email from a penfriend
220 views
I have to admit I am not super quick to accept new technology
60 views
Soon another year will be over and a new one will begin
111 views
view all articles by Marie Vonow
Articles by Marie Vonow on Other Hubs
We need to look after ourselves both physically and mentally in order to be truly ‘healthy’
8 likes
Most people are aware of the close relationship between cats and the people of Ancient Egypt some ...
3 likes
ID: 49061
[ Submit a Comment ]
Trending Articles
To attain any form of abundance in your life, you must feel good as much as possible
2227 views
One day you are off to work in a busy office as you have been doing for the past five years or lon...
149 views
Self-worth is our underlying belief about our value as a person, the opinion we have of oursel...
101 views
Decluttering is generally considered a 'good' thing these days
422 views
Many of us fear to speak our mind because we care about what others might think of us or say abo...
6638 views
Are you missing something in your life and you don’t know what you want? Are you lost and unsure...
1855 views
While researching tips for things that make people happier I came across the claim people who slee...
106 views
In this day and age, many people hire professional escorts because they what to try something ne...
12463 views
When I was in Adelaide today I decided to spend some time in the Botanic Garden
104 views
Without a question, people gravitate towards those who are more physically attractive
367 views
Categories
 
Copyright 2012-2018 OatLabs ABN 18113479226. mobile version