Recently I watched a romantic comedy film by the name of ‘Enough Said’. Though you get immersed in the award worthy performances by the main duo, Julia Louis Dreyfus and James Gandolfini, it in no way veils the life truth that is the driving force behind the movie. The story’s main focus is on a middle aged divorcee, Eva who forms a romantic liaison with Albert, a man of similar circumstances. The underlying deep truth that the movie touches on is how talking negatively about someone can create a negative outlook about the same person in someone else's mind.
This is how the movie goes: Eva a self employed mother of one meets Albert, a warm, fun loving man and falls in love with him. But things begin to get complicated when Eva forms a friendship with Marianne, Albert’s ex-wife. Both women are unaware of each other’s relationship with Albert. Marianna talks openly about her failed marriage and her disappointment of an ex-husband. Marianna’s constant complaints about Albert affect Eva’s perception of the man she is in love with. These confessions lead to a change of heart in Eva. She begins to see Albert through Marianna the ex-wife’s eyes.
How true it is when it comes to our own lives. How much can we influence another’s perception of people they associate? Specially when it comes to our own family. They value our opinion and judgment and sometimes blindly agree with us. For instance say you are not particularly fond of a friend in your circle and you voice it out in the midst of your family. You associate a negative aura around the person you are criticising. So your family can only see that negative person because your words have veiled the real one.
Have you noticed how your kids form an opinion about the ones you are speaking of going only by your own judgment of that particular character? Once your outlook is rooted in their minds, it’s hard to change it even if you have a change of heart and become best friends with the person you disliked and criticized so much before. This is true to positive character assessments and positive perceptions too. It all depends on what vibe you send to the other person about a friend or a family member.
If you like someone and only talk good about that person, there is little room left for your family and friends to judge that same person negatively.
Its amazing how ones perception can influence the decision making process of another even if it is something simple as to ‘like some one or not to’.