Giving and Taking - Friendships need both in balance
Image courtesy of imagemajesty at freedigitalphotos.net
One of the tests of friendships is whether the balance of ďgive and takeĒ is equal. Does one member of the relationship give a lot more of their time/money/resources/emotional energy to a significantly degree more? Do both parties respect each otherís needs?
If there is a balance, well you are very lucky. I am one of these blessed people and have found a beautiful friend. We give and take, and we trust each other implicitly. She is one of those rare people who will do anything to help someone. At the same time, I keep up my end of the friendship, and, just as she helps me, and gives me time energy (and small loans because neither of us are earning, so I return the same to her.
However, if you feel you are in a relationship where one of you is demanding more and the other is taking more, and you donít feel assertive enough to say something, then the relationship is like a time bomb ticking.
The other person may not explode, but over time anger may mount and one day there may be a massive argument, or the person many just stop caring or drift away.
Relationships also involve a certain amount of tolerance of things that might annoy you a little about the other person. However, there is no doubt in my mind, that I probably have some annoying habits, too.
So tolerance is part of the give and take balance.
Listening has a great deal to do with the giving. If you talk more than you listen, it can mean you are doing a lot of taking, and are giving the other person the message that you donít really care that much about them and whatís going on in their lives.
I live in quite an isolated area Ė a cul de sac. Thereís not a great many people around who live in my area.
However, having this friend in my life who is about my age reminds me of the commonality of human struggles, how to give, and how to be comfortable with receiving, too.
Relationships are vital in any life, and being extremely introspective, this is one friend Iíve really let into my life, and because the give, take, and trust are there, itís beautiful.
Thank you, my dear friend, and I actually have several.