A friend is someone who loves you as you are - you don't even have to talk, but just feel peaceful in each others' presence. Image courtesy of AKARAKINGDOMS at freedigital photos.net
Lately, because I have been feeling a little low, I have withdrawn from what I find to be usually pleasurable exercises. However, it’s amazing what watching comraderie, even from a vicarious vantage point of view, like watching friends on the “Big Bang Theory”, can do!
For those unfamiliar with this extremely popular television programme, a group of four university pals, along with their girlfriends, manage to provide extremely comedic viewing. While sometimes Sheldon, a physicist, sometimes seems not to care that much, and instead wrapped up in his scientific world, tonight he is humorously concerned about his best friend, Lenard, dying while undergoing some operation to prevent his snoring!
I had a day filled with feeling rather flat, and tonight, as I was viewing Big Bang Theory, which is my favourite programme, I am reminded of just how precious and valuable it is to have true friends in one’s life.
I have been hurt by a lot of people in my life, and I am aware that this has made me a little sceptical about how whether friends really ‘care’, or the conditionality of it. To make things worse, when I am down, I turn down invitations given by true friends to spend time with them. I have been criticised for ‘being not much fun to be with’ when depressed. This has stayed with me unfortunately, so if I feel I am not ‘cheerful enough’ I am frightened, frankly, of being rejected.
However, when I am honest with myself, I do realise I have, albeit a few, friends so close, that they really do accept me ‘warts and all’ or in my case, ‘sadness and all’.
So, what stops me from being them when I am depressed? I guess – a lack of motivation.
However, when I do make the effort, I am so glad that I did. I realise that there are true, true friends out there who do love me (sometimes I don’t know why) for who and what I am.
One friend actually understands what it’s like to have ‘the blues’ for she suffers from them too periodically. Another person doesn’t really ‘get it’ for he is an upbeat character, one of those people who can seem to be able to remain upbeat, no matter what life throws at him, but I know he won’t abandon me if I am somewhat sad.
Who it is that I personally advise people to avoid if they want unconditional friendships is those who threaten to, or do, opt out just because you’re not smiling and feeling wonderful all of the time. I do my best and I will never forget the hurt of one person who told me ‘she’d have nothing to do with me again if I cried’.
That cut deeper than she realised, and I have hidden myself away on such days as I feel down, even though I have never encountered such a non-understanding attitude again.
True friends are indeed so special. I am grateful for those I have. They are worth so much to me – because they are unconditional.