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Forgive or Forget? It's About Understanding.

by JoiTheBoy (follow)
Joi DC
Life (595)      Mindset (167)      Relationships (154)      Communication (119)      Emotions (84)      Control (58)     

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So your friend, family member or colleague has done or said something that has upset you - you feel hurt, possibly betrayed that they would do something like that. The first step a lot of us take is either saying "It's okay" or "Just forget it, let's move on" because sometimes we just don't want to deal with these issues or cause even bigger problems.

If the root of the problem isn't tackled, or understood, it could just pop up again sometime later down the road, and it could just get messier for you.

Forgiving someone or choosing to forget about an incident is fine, but truly understanding what the cause was, or why things happened the way they did, will help you deal with the issue so it doesn't crop up again and you will both be at peace.

Here are some things you should think about:

1. The first step is to take a deep breath. Calm down, the first thought in our heads is usually to respond in anger. Think happy thoughts!

2. Approach the person who has offended you, tell them that you felt upset by what they did or said and ask them why they did it.

3. It's very important to understand where they were coming from or what frame of mind they were in. Sometimes we say things that we don't mean when we're under stress.

4. Now that you know their side of the story, you are in a better position to make a call - Should I accept that this person has made a mistake or is there something that I could have possibly done to trigger this?

5. Here you can decide if you should forgive them, or just let it pass. Now you know what the issue was really about, and it won't be gnawing at the back of your mind.

So next time you feel you've been done wrong by, be cool. A little understanding goes a long way!

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