I would bet money that you remember the first person you had a crush on; the name of your first boyfriend or girlfriend, and where your first kiss was and with whom. You could probably recall a whole bunch of details about all of these things, in fact; like what age you were; if they had blue eyes or red hair; if it was summer or winter.
Everyone has firsts, starting with our first breath. We can remember most of them, and we have a lot of them as teenagers and/or as young adults. We treasure these firsts, and hold them dear in our memory; even if it wasn’t always the most pleasant experience. This is something both guys and girls do: one of our few similar sentimental traits.
What I’ve recently learnt however, is that, as you get older, you have less firsts with a person. You start going out with someone, and slowly (or quickly) you fall in love with each other. They’re you’re partner, and you start this adventure together. But you aren’t each other’s first kiss; or first boyfriend/girlfriend; or probably not the first person you’ve ever slept with either.
My partner is eight years older than me, and he has fallen in love a few times before me; has slept with a lot more people than I have, and has just generally had a lot more life experience. He’s been through some things that I can’t even speculate as to how I would handle them, and he has seen a lot of things. In my own way, I’ve done things and seen things that he hasn’t. We've both been through different things, yet we have both learnt from them, and ended up together by some ridiculous stroke of luck.
But we have no firsts to share. Or at least, we didn’t think so. We’ve cooked dinner for other people; lived with other people; one of us has gone overseas; we’ve both lived in different states; we’ve both had pets; we’ve both played minigolf with other people, and we have both done many different things in the bedroom over our time.
Today, though, we found a first. Our very first, first. It came out of nowhere, which made it even better. It just made this first really special. And I know, that for the rest of my life; I will remember that this particular first was with him, and vice versa. We have something that will permanently tie us to one another now, besides the fact that we’re in love.
I think the point of this article, is that you can have firsts with someone no matter how old you are. You can’t go looking for them though, because that wrecks the exclusive superiority to other moments that you share together.
And you should treasure all your firsts, no matter what; even if there are negative connotations attached to them – you still need to treasure them, because you can only do something for the first time once.