Home    Subscribe    Write for Us    FAQ    Contact    HubGarden    Login

Examining Our Motivations For Giving

by jussiecatwriter (follow)
Love (184)      Relationships (158)      Friendship (20)      Giving (17)      Caring (12)      Receiving (2)     

A man with a
Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at freedigitalphotos.net / I called you, so where's my call?

I have not used the phenomena of Facebook obsessively like I used to for quite some time. The reason? I feel resentful after some time of sharing snippets of my experiences and apart from one or two very close friends, I didn’t receive the plethora of “likes” or comments that others did. Ultimately this led me to feel I was socially a “failure”. So I constructed walls, wouldn’t share, so I would not be rejected.

However, a part of the hype that is Facebook that I do participate in is trying to reciprocate to those who seem largely ignored by many people. The fact that they are remains an enigma to me. These are wonderful, authentic people who are just “themselves” on this media site. They don’t try to be anyone but themselves – extremely likeable.
I know what it feels like to be invalidated, and overlooked. Therefore, for a while, I would always make sure I responded to these people. They deserved it goodness knows more than a lot of people who had 32 likes for sharing something. I never knew why some people got such a massive response, while others were and are treated like they don’t exist.

However, I have neglected to do this of late.
However, a book I am reading at the moment about “Life Lessons” taught me something valuable about myself. It gave me an insight into my motivations, which I hate to say, were not quite as pure as I initially thought them to be. It has been said there is no such thing as pure altruism. Hence the term “hedonistic altruism” has been coined. This means we give because at some level we want to receive.

I thought about it, and I hate to admit it, but perhaps I was validating these people not only because I do care for them and can empathise with these people but also I feel good when they in turn “like” or comment on my piece of rather insignificant news for the day.

However, sometimes my giving does come from pure gratitude. The other day, my neighbour took my cat to the vet with me. Fortunately there was nothing wrong with her. However, the peace of mind was priceless to me.

I was lying in bed, and felt a need, to reciprocate, to show her the gratitude and appreciate I felt in my heart. I knew my friend liked cheezels so I went down the road and left 2 packets on her doorstep. I didn’t analyse this action in my head. It wasn’t an intellectual thing, it was a natural response of wanting to show her how much her act of care meant for me.

I have learnt it’s important not to be nice for the sake of being nice. I am no Mother Theresa. But I would like to hold onto the part of me that gives because I want to, not because I am hoping at some level for kudos, appreciation and rapturous response. This is a more pure kind of love, and I am grateful for this lesson I have learned.

# Giving
# Receiving
# Relationships
# Love
# Friendship
# Caring
I like this Article - 5
More Articles by jussiecatwriter
Dancing: exercise and have fun at the same time! We are all familiar with the benefits of exerc...
I admit that one of my faults is that I am a rather proud person
I always find sticking to resolutions particularly difficult
One of life’s challenges that is thrown our way from time to time is the difficult emotions asso...
To a greater or lesser degree, we are surrounded by nature
I have always had a greater fondness for junk food rather than healthy food, like probably the m...
view all articles by jussiecatwriter
Articles by jussiecatwriter on Other Hubs
When considering introducing another cat into a pre-existing family of one or more other felines...
1 like
Just as we can make inferences from humans' body language, for example, folded arms could indica...
People say that animals respond to peoples’ body language
Pets can teach us so much – they are actually better at helping us learn life’s lessons than rea...
My Google Plus Profile
ID: 24697
[ Submit a Comment ]
Trending Articles
I lived the city life and I’m sick of it
Our senses make us more aware of the world around us, sometimes warning us of danger
Sometimes you just feel bleah
Whether you are thinking about goals to get things done or making a difference in the world, the l...
Many of us fear to speak our mind because we care about what others might think of us or say abo...
New words are constantly coming into existence
When people hear the word 'amnesia' they worry because they know it means forgetting things and th...
Money gives us all more choices in life, and is a tool to serve other people
In this day and age, many people hire professional escorts because they what to try something ne...
Are you missing something in your life and you don’t know what you want? Are you lost and unsure...
Copyright 2012-2018 OatLabs ABN 18113479226. mobile version