Please donít do this. I know you, dear reader, and I know for a fact that you have happened to think about death, whether serious or not.
But those who honestly feel like theyíre trapped without a solution; turning this fantasy of ending into a reality will not only eliminate any chances of a situation getting better, but it will take a piece out of all of those you touched.
I donít know what you believe in, or what will happen when your life inevitably ends. But I do know what would happen to those who continue to live in this world.
If I were to be told that any member of my immediate family committed suicide, I wouldnít think. I wouldnít know if I should cry or act tough, or if I should sink and never rise again.
I wouldnít be able to take it in. I wouldnít be able to grasp the idea yet. I might throw up for hours on end, or I might lie down and not enable myself to get up for weeks continuously. The only one Iíd want to talk to is the one that I canít, and all the company Iíd have would be useless, as Iíd blank them out or not realise theyíre there. Iíd know you didnít deserve this, and all Iíd wish to do is to turn back time to help lift you up again.
However, in this day and age, that is the exact thing I canít do. Thereís no way of reviving people, and the task of accepting that theyíre gone will continuously become difficult. How would I be able to acknowledge that one can be here today and gone tomorrow?
The sad fact is though, that this reaction of emotions from myself wonít be exclusive to my family. Iíd act this way if the one ending their lives happened to be a close friend or mere acquaintance. Iíd run through all these emotions, asking questions I know I wonít get an answer to.
And if you feel that you get in the way or that no-one cares that itís necessary to lose your place in this world; youíre downright wrong. Your place in this world blocks others from crashing into each other.
Everyone you know will be left distraught, but how they deal with this will all be an entirely different matter. Some might come together and cry, and others might take the blame entirely on themselves. Some will even blame others until there is mutual bitterness between everyone around.
Theyíre all fighting for the same thing, yet itís this same thing they donít know how to express.
It tears people apart. It leaves each single one of them in the depths of isolation. Everyoneís lonely. Everyone becomes so involved in their own frame of mind that they forget what their outside actions become.
Their outside actions might be the way they treat other people. It might be that they start or give in to addictions. It might be that they bury themselves so deeply in their professions or occupations they grow out of touch with the people around them.
And most of all, everyone will miss you. That might sound nice, but itís not in a good way. Everyone will be furious with you, but refuse to acknowledge it. Everyone will be wondering why, but will never get an answer. Everyone will be thinking of how if they werenít good enough for you, maybe they too arenít good enough for this world.
You are able to end your life without thought, yet you will never be able to determine how people will react to your actions. Negatives outweigh any positives you thought your act might have had.
So please, fantasies aside, your life is worth something. I have no right to tell you what you can or canít do, but I do have the right to share a voice. This voice cares, and likes the part you play as you stand here today.
But I know for a fact, that whether or not you know it, there are other people who care for you just as much, or more than I do. Even if they donít show it, theyíre all incredibly thankful youíre a part of their lives.
Please donít do this. I know you definitely donít deserve this, and neither do those who know you.