Please don’t do this. I know you, dear reader, and I know for a fact that you have happened to think about death, whether serious or not.
But those who honestly feel like they’re trapped without a solution; turning this fantasy of ending into a reality will not only eliminate any chances of a situation getting better, but it will take a piece out of all of those you touched.
I don’t know what you believe in, or what will happen when your life inevitably ends. But I do know what would happen to those who continue to live in this world.
If I were to be told that any member of my immediate family committed suicide, I wouldn’t think. I wouldn’t know if I should cry or act tough, or if I should sink and never rise again.
I wouldn’t be able to take it in. I wouldn’t be able to grasp the idea yet. I might throw up for hours on end, or I might lie down and not enable myself to get up for weeks continuously. The only one I’d want to talk to is the one that I can’t, and all the company I’d have would be useless, as I’d blank them out or not realise they’re there. I’d know you didn’t deserve this, and all I’d wish to do is to turn back time to help lift you up again.
However, in this day and age, that is the exact thing I can’t do. There’s no way of reviving people, and the task of accepting that they’re gone will continuously become difficult. How would I be able to acknowledge that one can be here today and gone tomorrow?
The sad fact is though, that this reaction of emotions from myself won’t be exclusive to my family. I’d act this way if the one ending their lives happened to be a close friend or mere acquaintance. I’d run through all these emotions, asking questions I know I won’t get an answer to.
And if you feel that you get in the way or that no-one cares that it’s necessary to lose your place in this world; you’re downright wrong. Your place in this world blocks others from crashing into each other.
Everyone you know will be left distraught, but how they deal with this will all be an entirely different matter. Some might come together and cry, and others might take the blame entirely on themselves. Some will even blame others until there is mutual bitterness between everyone around.
They’re all fighting for the same thing, yet it’s this same thing they don’t know how to express.
It tears people apart. It leaves each single one of them in the depths of isolation. Everyone’s lonely. Everyone becomes so involved in their own frame of mind that they forget what their outside actions become.
Their outside actions might be the way they treat other people. It might be that they start or give in to addictions. It might be that they bury themselves so deeply in their professions or occupations they grow out of touch with the people around them.
And most of all, everyone will miss you. That might sound nice, but it’s not in a good way. Everyone will be furious with you, but refuse to acknowledge it. Everyone will be wondering why, but will never get an answer. Everyone will be thinking of how if they weren’t good enough for you, maybe they too aren’t good enough for this world.
You are able to end your life without thought, yet you will never be able to determine how people will react to your actions. Negatives outweigh any positives you thought your act might have had.
So please, fantasies aside, your life is worth something. I have no right to tell you what you can or can’t do, but I do have the right to share a voice. This voice cares, and likes the part you play as you stand here today.
But I know for a fact, that whether or not you know it, there are other people who care for you just as much, or more than I do. Even if they don’t show it, they’re all incredibly thankful you’re a part of their lives.
Please don’t do this. I know you definitely don’t deserve this, and neither do those who know you.