Home    Subscribe    Write for Us    FAQ    Contact    HubGarden    Login

Dealing With Self Doubt Part 1

by Marie Vonow (follow)
Blogs:https://minamaries.blogspot.com.au https://simpleselfimprovement.blogspot.com.au/
Negative (19)      Self Doubt (6)      Compliments (5)      Criticism (4)      Inner Critic (3)     


Compliments, Criticism, Inner Critic, Negative, Self Doubt


Self doubt is that inner critic who says you aren’t good enough or clever enough to do something you want or need to do. That destructive inner critic will say you are too clumsy, too slow, too shy, too old, too fat, too inexperienced or that you can’t do things as well as other people. Self doubt can have a loud voice and stop you from applying for that job or promotion, having a go at a sport, trying a creative pursuit or from making friends.

Before self doubt can be addressed, we need to be aware of why we doubt ourselves. Why do people have self doubt? Self doubt may originate from childhood experiences. A parent may have made negative comments about lack of coordination so a child is discouraged from playing sport and learning to dance. Teachers may have made negative comments and these may always have been remembered. Friends, both during childhood or later, may have laughed when we tried something and didn’t get it right. We are less likely to remember the positive comments and experiences.

We often remember the negative comments more than the positive. Many times we don’t question the validity of a negative comment. The person making the comment may have been ill informed, simply having a bad day or have been insecure themselves. I recall being plagued by self doubt when a school friend told me her mother didn’t like me. I was devastated. What had I done wrong? Some time later I asked my friend why her mother didn’t like me reminding her she had told me this was the case. She responded that her mother had never said it and my friend had said that when she had been in a bad mood. I had stressed needlessly.

At times a negative comment may have some basis of truth but perhaps we could learn the necessary skill with practice if we gave it a go. Being skilled at something requires practice and you are never going to get better at something if you don’t even try. How can you improve your singing ability if you never sing?

Self doubt can originate in a personal experience. You messed up once or twice and will always remember that. Here is a personal example. Driving in general makes me nervous. I am always anxious when I back out of the driveway, being really careful not to hit the gate. Way back in 1979, a few years after getting my licence, I backed out of the driveway and hit the gate. That was the one time in decades of driving I misjudged and got the gate. Since then I have backed out literally thousands of times without mishap. Do I back out with confidence because I have done so with success thousands of times or do I remember the one time I messed up? Yes, I always think of the one mistake. By the way, the gate was dented when we moved in and wouldn’t close properly. I must have hit it at just the right angle because afterwards it closed properly.

People who suffer from self doubt tend to take more notice of criticism and dismiss compliments on their strengths as, ‘You are just being nice’ or ‘You don’t mean that, you are just saying it.’ When complimented on what they are wearing they may dismiss it by saying, ‘What this old thing?’ If praised they may say the event was a fluke or a lucky shot. Later they may not even remember the compliment but they will play a criticism over and over in their head. There are ways of addressing self doubt and these will be discussed in Part 2.



# Compliments
# Criticism
# Inner Critic
# Negative
#Self Doubt
I like this Article - 5
More Articles by Marie Vonow
I enjoy gardening
199 views
I walked to the local Sunday market this morning
119 views
It can seem that being a mother isn't valued a great deal by today's society
116 views
Most people benefit from doing something creative
278 views
**Nature relatedness** is the way an individual reacts to and connects on an emotional level with ...
185 views
I have learnt many things from various sources over the years
138 views
view all articles by Marie Vonow
Articles by Marie Vonow on Other Hubs
Many councils around the world now have a law stating a dog owner must clean up after their dog when...
3 likes
The 'institution' of marriage is just one aspect of society that has undergone considerable chang...
189 views
A friend may say the jacket you are wearing is too bright or has too much embellishment because sh...
280 views
ID: 20365
[ Submit a Comment ]
Trending Articles
There are some interesting You Tube videos where people talk about things they have stopped buying...
84 views
Finding topics you want to develop into an article, blog post, essay, short story, novel or poem c...
87 views
A topic set for homework at the writers’ group I belong to was, ‘Would you like to be famous? Why ...
88 views
Sometimes it is difficult to feel motivated
86 views
Some of the ideas we read today may seem new because they are different from commonly held beliefs...
125 views
Where do you want to live? Would you rather live in an upmarket prestigious area or somewhere th...
74 views
What are the Impacts on our kids if we keep consuming this way? Consumption has become such a...
388 views
This morning I went to the library to pick up a book I had on hold
153 views
These days with all its hustle and bustle it can be easy to forget to live in the now, the momen...
196 views
Are you missing something in your life and you don’t know what you want? Are you lost and unsure...
1781 views
Categories
 
Copyright 2012-2018 OatLabs ABN 18113479226. mobile version