Looking back to myself six years ago. I wish I could describe to you the ache and suffering you go through. These things will break your fatherís heart and it tore your mother apart. Everyday since my 16th Iíve done what I can to apologise and improve myself and here is my letter to 16 year old me
You donít trust anyone; yes he leaves you for his ex girlfriend. Yes hechooses her over you. 5 months of falling in lust. Love is something will we come to later in this reflection. You gave up everything to him but it wasnít good enough and you end up having a 4 month scare. Youíre body is going to really despise you for not being positive.
In the end the person you turn to is the person who hurts you the most. The warm feeling down the back of your throat isn't a false ending; your worst nightmare happens on October 17th 2009. Yes Emily; you were violated in the circle of infinity while learning that screaming isn't the best line of defence.
He loves you and you loveÖ. yeah lets cut it there. In many years time at age 19; you realise who youíre first love is and sadly; you say the wrong name. Yes you were the boy-crazy girl. Fast forward to 2014; most of your closest friends are guys. You will learn how much fun it is to play COD or Assassinís Creed and how much fun it is to just learn about the other species. Positive mindset makes you realise it's better to be chill and not stressed out.
Did I mention the engagement? Oh yeah forgot to mention that you got engaged at 18 - smart move; luckily enough you actually grow some self-respect. Now you're check-list is as high as your stilettos.
You learn who you truly are and what your style is when you end year 12 and prove every hater wrong. You will get called every disrespectful name under the book. You do show the black tears of hurt and anger down the porcelain skin. Yet the positives are starting to come; you finish your Certificate IV in Professional Writing and Editing as an honours student of (89.99%) and you intern with some of the highest rank media houses... I told you positivity goes a long way.
In the end even with all the bumps in the road and the aches along the way; your life is the start of a twisted fairytale where you are the soul-writer of your life and toughen up girl; the tattoo is coming soon. The last two weeks have reminded me of the journey I have gone through. Love 21-year-old you.