Home    Subscribe    Write for Us    FAQ    Contact    HubGarden    Login

Anger Management

by jussiecatwriter (follow)
Life Skills (425)      Emotions (85)      Feelings (62)      Coping (39)      Anger (16)      Assertiveness (16)      Anger Management (3)      Resentment (2)     

a shouting man
Image courtesy of Chris Roll / FreeDigitalPhotos.net Anger can be a taboo emotion - here are some acceptable ways of dealing with it.

Anger is a valid, real and most importantly a perfectly acceptable emotion to experience. However, the negative connotations associated with this emotion, such as expressions of violence, may cause people to not admit when they do feel this feeling brewing inside of them. This can more so be for people who allow others to control and manipulate them, and have trouble asserting themselves to say ‘no’ to such dominant people. It can be more difficult for women to admit that they are feeling angry, because women in history have often been expected to be ‘nice’ - sweet, accepting and smiling. Even today, women are still slightly subservient in a patriarchal world.

There are definitely no problems when one is experiencing happiness. We can smile, and it is easy to be pleasant, friendly and courteous, and not get frustrated with those whom we encounter.
It is not a very horrible feeling to be depressed, sad or grief-stricken. We may feel de-motivated, de-energised and feel like crying. However, in one way, sadness may be seen as a preferable emotion to anger. People won’t frown upon us so much if we are sad. They are more likely to feel at a loss, so therefore avoid us, or their empathy may lead them to want to help. They may feel indifferent if they do not know us.

However, whether we like it or not, we all get angry. This is as distinct from sadness as it is from happiness. We all recognise that turbulent feeling of what can range from irritation and impatience to being frustrated to feeling an onslaught of full-blown rage.

What kind of things make us angry?

Resentment. Stewing on past injustices in our lives and making them real once again. For example bitter break-ups, things people have said and done to us in our lives that were not fair.

Feeling one is currently being treated unfairly. For example, being taken advantage of, provoked or treated unjustly to what one feels one deserves.

Feeling that one has no control over anything in one’s life. This can build up over time if one, for example, has trouble being assertive and lets them direct their life this way, and that when they are a competent adult who can think and make decisions for themselves. Being treated like a non-person would make anyone angry.

Irritations and Provocations. Being stuck in a traffic jam, being yelled at for no reason, or noisy crowds.

Vicariously experiencing others' suffering these situations.

Therefore, it’s there. Does it help to pretend it does not exist? For example, we typically feel like a strong, energetic response to anger like yelling, or even hitting a punching bag. However, there is no doubt that expressions of anger are frowned upon by our society. We are supposed to take a deep breath, and basically “grin and bare it” or “cop it sweetly.”

We can't go around expressing our anger like we did in the caveman days for example. After all it’s in our ancestry to have a ‘fight or flight’ response to danger, and anger would help us with the ‘fight’ response.

What are healthier, yet acceptable ways of dealing with anger?

1. Admit that it’s there. All humans experience it, and that it’s acceptable.

2. Regarding resentment. Write down letters to all the people who you feel have treated you unjustly or unfairly, and how you felt. Release it. Then rip up the letters.

Realise now, for you, the only one who will suffer from retaining bitterness is you. The people who hurt you have already moved on.

3. Right here, right now put your life back into your hands. It does not mean being selfish, but establishing boundaries that separate you from other people. You are you, and therefore you have the right to say ‘yes’ and ‘no’. There are many centres and books that teach assertiveness skills. This should lead you to feel that you are more in control.

Assertiveness is basically about saying 'yes' and 'no' when you want to, while respecting your own needs and others needs at the same time. It's not selfish. It's actually a more honest way to live.

4. With irritations in the present like a crazy and rude driver on the road, breathe deeply, but realise if you allow yourself to be stirred up, just like resentment, you will suffer. When one is surrounded by a lot of daily provocations, it is helpful to have things like happy things you are looking forward to on your mind. Practicing calmness and mindfulness on a daily basis can help build resilience when these daily irritations are encountered. Some people find things like punching a bag helpful at a gym to let off steam.

5. When you see someone you care about or even someone you do not know experience injustice; try to realise that you, at home can make more of a difference by perhaps donating to the cause**.

This could be animal mistreatment, for example. Perhaps volunteer at your local RSPCA.
When I allowed myself to recognise and allow my anger to be valid and real, but yet acceptably expressed; I have functioned better, and thus have shared these ideas with you.

# Anger
# Anger Management
# Emotions
# Feelings
# Life Skills
# Assertiveness
# Coping
# Resentment
I like this Article - 3
More Articles by jussiecatwriter
Adolescent bullying can be the time where young people are most vulnerable to the effects of oth...
Often times, when we have a goal we’ve set our hearts on achieving, it can be hard to be patient...
When we give a compliment to someone, we are recognising, respecting and essentially liking a po...
Summer is coming upon us rapidly – whether we love this weather, or hate it! Here are ten top t...
Life can be overwhelming enough, without putting unnecessary pressure on ourselves to attain a ...
Only very recently, I've discovered the boundary that separates and distinguishes happiness from con...
view all articles by jussiecatwriter
Articles by jussiecatwriter on Other Hubs
Upon Suzie's recent vet visit, we were given a chicken and a tuna sample of Advance especially des...
I have enjoyed Suzie, my half-manx cat, for more than four and a half years now
For all of us, we have one thing in common – we all love our pets
Pets need to have comfortable surroundings, which they choose instinctively
My Google Plus Profile
ID: 17924
[ Submit a Comment ]
Trending Articles
I lived the city life and I’m sick of it
Our senses make us more aware of the world around us, sometimes warning us of danger
Sometimes you just feel bleah
Whether you are thinking about goals to get things done or making a difference in the world, the l...
Many of us fear to speak our mind because we care about what others might think of us or say abo...
New words are constantly coming into existence
When people hear the word 'amnesia' they worry because they know it means forgetting things and th...
Money gives us all more choices in life, and is a tool to serve other people
In this day and age, many people hire professional escorts because they what to try something ne...
Are you missing something in your life and you don’t know what you want? Are you lost and unsure...
Copyright 2012-2018 OatLabs ABN 18113479226. mobile version