Don't lift the heaviest weight and not succeed, but by gradually increasing how much you add to the bar, you will also increase your 'self-confidence' that you can! And such is the case with virtually any activity! Image courtesy of sira anamwong at freedigitalphotos.net
“Self-confidence”, in a nutshell is basically a way of saying that you believe in yourself. To be “confident” of something means you are sure of it, that you have faith in it.
People with high levels of self-confidence aren’t necessarily boastful or arrogant. They have a self-assurance that they have the ability to perform a desired action if they so desire.
People aren’t necessarily confident in all areas of their life. Some people are sure of some abilities they have, but not others, with of course grey areas in between.
The advantage of possessing self-confidence in at least a few areas of your life that you value, such as your ability to do your job well, feeling sure you are an ‘okay, worthwhile person’ and that you can relate to people fairly well is that it is likely you will also enjoy higher levels of self-esteem as a result.
When you have confidence in your ability to perform an action you feel is important and valued to you, it helps you believe the truth – you have something to offer.
The truth is: we all have something unique to offer the world that valuable. Therefore we are all entitled to enjoy feelings of self-confidence, and as a result self-esteem. Sadly, however, not everyone believes in themselves. We all have wonderful and unique gifts; we are all special and worthwhile.”
So, what are some ways to increase your “Yes! I can!” feeling? Here are 10 tips that may help.
1. If you are scared of doing something and thus habitually shy away from trying it, it’s going to be hard to gain self-confidence.
At the same time, however, if we attempt too much to soon, we may not do as well as we would like. Particularly if we expect too much from ourselves, this can be detriment to enjoying self-confidence.
Therefore, perhaps the first easiest step is to do baby steps, also equipped with help and preparation before trying something new.
This will help increase your chances of success. And as a result of having succeeded, this will increase your “Yes, I can!” mentality.
2. Surround yourself with people who support, believe in and encourage you. Likewise, avoid those who put you down, or don’t have your best interests and heart.
3. Everyone has a few gifts : unique talents . By doing what you are good at, it is easy to enjoy endowment of self-worth this bestows.
4. Don’t be a perfectionist. Some of us seem to have impossible standards. No matter how well we do, we have thoughts telling us that ‘it’s not good enough’. Try to be gentle with yourself. Notice what you did right. Sure: acknowledge where you can improve and work on it, but don’t beat yourself up for it.
5. Ultimately remember you are a fabulous human being for just that – being. You are not a ‘human doing’! At the end of the day, our self-esteem shouldn’t come from our achievements. We are wonderful in every way because we are uniquely us.
6. Learn to accept compliments and encouragement. Take them in, dwell on them and allow them to support you.
7. If you are unsure of yourself in certain areas, say in public speaking, or any ability for that matter, a great way to develop confidence is to allow yourself to do a course or study of some kind to develop the skill.
8. Never feel silly or shy about asking questions to learn. Most people actually like being able to offer helpful advice because it makes them feel good about themselves.
9. This is not being big-headed or arrogant but make a list of things you have done well in, write down your achievements, your strengths and your positive qualities from time to time. Remember most people actually lack self-confidence and self-esteem, not the other way around; also sometimes people who seem ‘full of themselves are actually insecure.
10. Generally, in a nutshell, I think the best way to develop self-confidence is to step out on a limb but do it in safe, small steps to have your greatest chance at success. Neither wrapping yourself up in cotton wool, nor trying too much too soon will foster confidence as much as a gradual extension of yourself, trying new things, and allowing yourself to enjoy that success.